Encouraging Words to Ponder from Sarah Mally

Sarah Mally is the founder of Bright Lights, a discipleship ministry designed to equip young ladies to use the years of their youth fully for Christ. I have been reading her book "Before You Meet Prince Charming - A Guide to Radiant Purity, and some of her helpful hints have been, well... very helpful! :) The whole book emphasizes the need to stay pure for your future husband. Proverbs 31:12 says, "She does him good and not evil all the days of her life."
Here are some statements from throughout the book that I love:
 Surely This Must Be the One
What are you looking for in a husband? Do you remember the story of when God told Samuel to anoint one of the sons of Jesus to be King of Israel? When Samuel saw Eliab, the firstborn, he was impressed. Seeing that he was tall, mature, and handsome, he thought, "Surely, this must be the one.`` But the Lord told Samuel, `Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature: because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart`` (1 Sam. 16:6-7).
It is easy for us to be like Samuel. We look at outward things. We notice someone who is handsome and popular, who sounds impressive, and who seems to be respected by everyone else. We look for Eliabs. But pray, rather, for a man after God`s own heart - pray for a David. Pray for a man whose life is devoted to the Lord so that as you give yourself to him, you will be using your life to bring forth fruit that is eternal. Pray for a man who loves Christ more than he loves you. Pray for a man upon whom God`s blessing is evident.
Here are just a few qualifications to consider for your list:

• Does he have assurance of eternal life
• Does he faithfully share the gospel with others
• Is he always truthful
• Is he committed to never being divorced
• Does he honour his parents
• Has he applied diligence in spiritual disciplines such as Bible reading, prayer, fasting, memorizations, and giving
• Does he make all decisions based upon the Word of God
• Would you be excited to have him as the father of your children
• Is he diligent in his work and wise in his use of money
• Is God calling you in the same direction of ministry
• Does he ask forgiveness when he is wrong
• Is he humble and willing to be a servant
• Is he kind, thoughtful, and gracious
• Is he generous with others
• Does he respond to criticism in a Christlike way
• Is he willing to stand alone
• Do you see spiritual fruit in his life

( I noticed this last one as being really key because anyone can claim they are these things, but until they prove themselves in their talk, walk, actions, and thoughts - by the fruit of saving faith in their life - can you truly know they are honest. )

Are you Ready for Marriage
If you are not ready for marriage, then there is no good reason to begin to develop a relationship leading in that direction. Of course, I doubt that any of us are actually ever fully ready to get married, but here are some questions to ask yourself:

• Do I have assurance of eternal life
•  Do I know the Lord as my personal Saviour
• Do I have a clear conscience
•  Is there anything in my life that needs to be cleared up, confessed, or corrected
• Am I ``about my Father`s business``
•  Have I been diligent to complete the tasks the Lord has given me
• Do I have a good relationship with my parents and siblings
• Have I learned to be a servant by seeing and meeting the needs of others before my own
• Have I learned to overcome anger
• Are there people who have offended me whom I am not able to forgive
• Do I read my Bible daily
• Do I find myself often in prayer, consulting with God and enjoying close, intimate conversations with Him
• Have I been diligent to identify and develop the skills, ministry, and interests God has given me
• Have I learned basic life skills, both educational ones and practical responsibilities
• Am I able to take care of a household
• Am I ready to be a mother
• Have I learned to be a giver, not a taker, in relationships

Here are a couple more helpful hints in the area of ``What not to do when you have a crush on someone``:

• Don`t talk about him with your friends.
• Don`t intentionally do anything that will stir up more thoughts about him (i.e. don`t put pictures of him up on your wall :) ).
• Don`t tell him how you feel about him or give any indications that you might be interested.
• Don`t dwell on thoughts of him or let yourself get carried away with your dreamy imaginations.

Rather, when thoughts about young men arise (and they will), use these as a springboard to direct you to pray and delight in the Lord.

Benefits of Waiting on the Lord:
Here are some specific benefits that result from this kind of waiting on the Lord:

• You will not be ashamed (need not fear disappointment or disgrace, having confidence that God Himself is your ally).``For they shall not be ashamed that wait for Me`` (Is. 49:23).
• The Lord will strengthen your heart. ``Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord`` (Ps. 27:4).
• You shall inherit the earth. (In the end, it is not the wicked who will receive lasting rewards, but the meek and humble. ``For evildoers shall be cut off: but those that wait upon the Lord, they shall inherit the earth`` (Ps. 37:9).
• Your strength will be be renewed.``But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint`` (Isaiah 40:31)
• The Lord will be good to you. ``The Lord is good unto them that wait for Him, to the soul that seeketh Him`` (Lam. 3:25)

Benefits to Parental Involvement

1. Wisdom and caution from someone older and wiser - who loves you and has your very best interests in mind
2. Valuable insight in evaluating a young man`s character
3. Help in protecting emotions
4. Caution when your`re headed in a wrong direction or not aware of danger
5. Accountability
6. Help in discerning the right steps and the right timing
7. Freedom that comes from knowing that God will work through earthly authorities.

There are many other ``firsts`` that will be very special if you make them special by saving them for the right time rather than trying to generate romance with every young man you get to know. Sure, more girls your age treat all these things casually. Sure, they might be having fun now, but how is it going to affect their marriages later. Think how meaningful each of these ``firsts`` can be, when shared with that special someone:

• first expression of interest
• first words of affection or love
• first gift given or received
• first romantic look into his eyes
• first trip together
• first special song, place, event, or memory
• first ring
• first dinner date
• first personal letter expressing emotions
• first ``i love you``
• first piece of your heart given
• first serious or ongoing correspondence with a young man
• first special affectionate nicknames or actions
• first kiss

Well, all of these were very encouraging and also convicting in my own life and heart and I know that with God`s help, I can overcome these sinful thoughts, words, and patterns of life. To Him be the glory forever!